At this very moment I should be doing algebraic equations, but you can probably assume that I am not nor will I until several hours have passed. I can barely place the variables of my own life equations within the correct parenthesis, so I have no business solving those for a class that I will be graded on. An e-mail to my slender math teacher should be written.
I must begin this message with an apology to you. I am sorry that you have spent countless years studying within the halls of Ivy just to encounter terrible students such as myself. I am not trying to mock the degree that is perfectly placed over your mantel ( I am assuming that you have framed your doctoral degree and possess a fire place) Neither here nor there I just wanted to let you know that I am not trying to outwardly offend you. I was just never any good at making equations matter or the solutions sensible.